I Asked ChatGPT for 20 Books About Raising Cross Cultural Kids

Me: hmmmm…I wonder if I can ask ChatGPT for book recommendations…

ChatGPT: These 20 books offer a range of perspectives and insights to support parents in understanding and navigating the complexities of raising children in cross-cultural contexts.

  1. "Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds" by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken - This seminal book explores the unique challenges and experiences of children growing up in multiple cultures.

  2. "Raising Global Nomads: Parenting Abroad in an On-Demand World" by Robin Pascoe - Offers practical advice and strategies for parents navigating the complexities of raising children in expatriate or global nomad families.

  3. "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" by Tina L. Quick - Focuses on helping globally mobile students successfully transition to university life, addressing academic, social, and emotional challenges.

  4. "Expat Teens Talk: Peers, Parents and Professionals Offer Support, Advice and Solutions in Response to Expat Life Challenges as Shared by Expat Teens" by Lisa Pittman and Diana Smit - Features insights and stories from expatriate teenagers and offers guidance for parents on supporting their teens through the challenges of international relocation.

  5. "Global Baby: The Ultimate Baby Guide for the Modern World" by Christine Hertz and Mary Hertz Scarbrough - A comprehensive guide for parents raising children in multicultural environments, offering tips on language development, cultural exposure, and fostering a global mindset from an early age.

  6. "Homeland Calling: Exile Patriotism and the Balkan Wars" by Anna M. Korteweg - Explores the experiences of immigrant parents from the former Yugoslavia raising their children in North America, highlighting the complexities of identity, belonging, and cultural transmission.

  7. "Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting" by Pamela Druckerman - While not specifically about raising cross-cultural children, this book offers insights into different parenting approaches and cultural perspectives, which can be valuable for parents navigating cultural differences.

  8. "Belonging Everywhere & Nowhere: Insights into Counseling the Globally Mobile" by Lois J. Bushong - Provides insights and strategies for counselors and parents supporting globally mobile individuals, including cross-cultural children, in navigating identity, relationships, and transitions.

  9. "Gift of the Unicorn: The Story of L. M. Montgomery and Her Literary Classic 'Anne of Green Gables'" by Jane Urquhart - Explores the life and work of Lucy Maud Montgomery, author of "Anne of Green Gables," and offers insights into the themes of identity, belonging, and imagination that resonate with cross-cultural children.

  10. "The Art of Growing Up: Simple Lessons from Childhood Stories" by Veronika Martenova Charles - Draws on classic children's stories to offer timeless lessons on resilience, empathy, and self-discovery, which can be valuable for parents raising cross-cultural children.

  11. "Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World" by Homa Sabet Tavangar - Provides practical tips and activities for fostering cultural awareness, empathy, and global citizenship in children.

  12. "The Mobile Life: A New Approach to Moving Anywhere" by Diane Lemieux and Anne Parker - Offers guidance and support for families navigating the challenges of international relocation, including strategies for helping children adapt to new cultures.

  13. "The Expat Kids Club: A Workbook for Expat Children" by Julia Simens - Designed specifically for children, this workbook helps young expatriates explore their feelings, experiences, and identities in a supportive and creative way.

  14. "Global Connections: A World in Classroom Activities to Engage Your Students" by Kathryn T. Young and Karen L. Anderson - Provides teachers and parents with hands-on activities and resources for promoting cross-cultural understanding and global awareness in children.

  15. "Expat Teens Talk: Peers, Parents and Professionals Offer Support, Advice and Solutions in Response to Expat Life Challenges" by Lisa Pittman and Diana Smit - Features interviews and insights from expatriate teenagers, offering valuable perspectives for parents raising cross-cultural teens.

  16. "Understanding Third Culture Kids: A Guide for Parents and Professionals" by Michael V. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken - Explores the unique experiences and challenges faced by third culture kids and offers practical advice for parents and educators.

  17. "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" by Tina L. Quick - A comprehensive guide for globally mobile students transitioning to university life, offering tips and strategies for academic success, cultural adjustment, and personal growth.

  18. "Home Keeps Moving: A Glimpse into the Extraordinary Life of a Third Culture Kid" by Heidi Sand-Hart - Shares the author's personal experiences growing up as a third culture kid and offers insights into the challenges and opportunities of a cross-cultural upbringing.

  19. "Raising Children in a Digital Age: Enjoying the Best, Avoiding the Worst" by Bex Lewis - Explores the impact of digital technology on children's development, relationships, and well-being, offering practical advice for parents navigating the digital landscape.

  20. "Expat Etiquette: How to Look Good in Bad Places" by Michael Bear and Liz Good - Offers guidance on navigating the cultural nuances and social norms of different countries, helping expatriate families adapt and thrive in diverse environments.

Note: Some of these titles are immediately familiar while many I’ve never heard of! I haven’t read all of the above books nor am I recommending them as the best but I was curious what AI makes of the TCK world and thought you might be too. If nothing else, they’re worth a quick google search. You never know, you might find a new favorite!

Reflections on the International TCK Conference 2023

Reflections on the International TCK Conference 2023

I was struck by how many TCK events I’ve been to before where I was the youngest of mostly retired white women representing the mission's member-care sector. I’m a back row kind of girl at large events and sitting there the first evening, looking over 200+ heads I was so delighted (and if I’m totally honest, surprised) to see how colorful, multi-national and generational this crowd was. It was the beginning of something fresh and magical .

How to Lead TCKs Well, According to Puppies!

Training puppies and working with third culture kids aren’t that different!  These are the top three tips for training puppies according to celebrity dog trainer @allthingspup on Instagram and how to up your game when working with TCKs. 

  1. Always use their name positively. When you’re working with a puppy, if you use their name harshly or to discipline too many times, then they’ll start to associate their name with that negativity and it will be harder to get them to come when you call them. Similarly with a TCK, if you are always using their name harshly or negatively, they might start to respond more slowly or less consistently. If they know that when you say their name, you have something exciting or interesting to share with them or you’re going to affirm them, they become more likely to automatically pay attention to you than if you’re always telling them not to do something or they think they’re in trouble every time you say their name. This will help you maintain authority and achieve mutual respect. 

  2. Don’t underestimate the power of positive reinforcement. Instead of trying to figure out what negative reinforcement is effective or appropriate or okay, just lean into positive reinforcement. Not only is it fun for everyone, but it’s also shown to be very effective. You want your positive reinforcement to be based on clear expectations and exciting and motivating rewards. You also want to do it early and often and make it strategic. 

  3. Always redirect to the desired behavior. When puppies are doing things like jumping on a guest or barking at the door or chewing on a shoe, they literally cannot imagine or focus on doing anything other than that. Kids usually have a pretty good idea that what they are doing is wrong. But even then, the behavior isn’t necessarily motivated by the need to do the wrong thing, some times they might have an underlying motivation like they need to get energy out or they’re looking for attention or they are just wanting to have a great time. So when you can redirect their behavior to something that is okay for them to be doing, then you help get at that underlying desire and it takes the guesswork out of it for them and it helps them know how to be behaving. For a puppy, it might be switching out the shoe for a chew toy, and for TCKs, it might be playing an exciting game of capture the flag instead of climbing trees and jumping out of them. 

Treat your TCKs like puppies and you’ll help them stay engaged, build meaningful relationships, and create a safe space for everyone. 

Just like training a new puppy, working with TCKs can be overwhelming without a guide or handbook. Check out the free TCK Toolkit to access TCK worksheets, webinars, and curriculum to make working with TCKs even easier.


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How to Find Homeful

I moved to my current home 10 months ago. This was a place I said I would never live and I had no desire to live. And yet, here I sit. A combination of my bad attitude towards this place being my new “home” and COVID restrictions caused me to hole up in my apartment for weeks on end and not explore this place I was living in. So a few weeks ago, when my family came to visit and asked me to show them around, a deep clean of my apartment was accompanied by frantically google searching “attractions near me” that I could pretend I had been to before. But this led me down a trail to actually discovering and exploring this place I call home.

Whether you’re arriving in a new home or you want to rediscover a place you’ve been for a while, here are some things you can do. 

  1. Spruce up your physical home. Wherever you are laying your head at night, it’s time to make it homey. Suggestions include putting up pictures, rearranging furniture, or creating a reading or meditation corner.

  2. Find a new walking trail or hiking path. We as humans love routine, so you might have a neighborhood or trail that you’re used to walking. It’s time to find a new one. Find a new park with a trail, walk a different neighborhood, or find a new hiking place. I highly recommend AllTrails to assist you in finding the best new trail near you. 

  3. You can tell a lot about a town or city by its food. And we all love to eat. Find a new food or restaurant to try. If you’re hoping to try a new food, go to your local grocery store and pick something out that you’ve never bought before. If you want to try a new restaurant, you can use handy dandy Google to see what’s around. But to level up your experience, find a stranger and ask them what their favorite local place is! You can start a conversation and get a great recommendation. When my husband and I go visit a new place, we find a local coffee shop or hole-in-the-wall store and ask the people there where the best places to eat are. Locals always know best. 

  4. Play tourist. Find a book or a blog about things to do in your city (or a neighboring city or town) and be a tourist for a day. Visit the local sites, whether you’ve been before or not.

Ultimately, it’s all about saying yes to something new. This exploration of this city I call home led me to have a better appreciation for it. When I inevitably move, at the very least I’ll be able to say I know this city I called home for a year. 

What are ways you find home in the new place you’re living?

Creative Storytelling For Teens

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Parent C

hronicles

RESOURCES, TOOLS, AND COMMUNITY FOR PARENTS OF THIRD CULTURE KIDS

(So you can be confident you're not screwing them up!)

I still remember our “special” coffee shop. In the suffocating dry-season heat that settled over Gulu, Uganda like a wool blanket, Coffee Hut was a bit of western bliss. When my mom would spontaneously spring me with “wanna get some coffee?” only one thing excited me more than the chance to sit in the frigid air conditioning for an hour: the one-on-one time I got to share with her. Sipping on vanilla coffee shakes, my mom and I would chat. Sometimes about nothing (“The power went out again,” “Your brother found another snake in the trash pit,” “I scored some cheap mangoes in the market”), and sometimes about everything (“School is stressing me out,” “I feel like I don’t have any friends,” “I miss Missouri”). I laughed ‘til I snorted coffee shake out my nose in that shop, and I snot-cried and wiped my tears with a chocolate-stained napkin. Through one of the most turbulent, incredible, adventurous, gut-wrenching periods of my childhood, coffee dates at Coffee Hut began to feel like home.

Why am I telling you this? Because it might be time for a coffee date with your teen TCK. David C. Pollock’s helpful resource “Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds” shares one TCK’s value of deep conversations with their loved ones, because the uncertainty of outside relationships necessitates it: 

“Multiple separations tended to cause me to develop deeper relationships more quickly...When I was with my family or friends, we tended to talk about things that matter spiritually, emotionally, and so on. I still become impatient with superficiality.” 

Your TCK wants deep connection! And most likely, they want it with you. Trust me, they have a lot of feelings and even more to say; they just need someone to ask the right questions. Need some ideas? Here are 5 connection-creating questions to ask your teen TCK next time you go out together: 

  1. How are your friendships, both here and long-distance? Who do you feel closest to right now? 

  2. What’s one thing that’s exciting you about life right now?

  3. What’s one thing that’s difficult for you right now? 

  4. Are you missing anything or anyone? 

  5. Is there anything I can do to help? 

If you haven’t had the chance to do a “story time” with your teen TCK (covered in our previous installments of The Parent Chronicles), a coffee date would also be a great environment to do so! Find your own Coffee Hut and make some special memories.

A Quiet Christmas With KLDSCP

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Hygge:

“a quality of coziness and comfortable that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.”

Every year I crave more and more quiet over chaos around the holiday season. Every year I am inevitably the person running to the closest open store on Christmas Eve for that one gift I totally forgot.

This year I’m committed to a Quiet Christmas and dragging the Kaleidoscope Team along with me. For us this means DIY presents for our annual Secret Santa gift exchange and totally closing up shop for 2 weeks! Luxury!

I’d love to invite you all into the same effort to put more emphasis on quality time over quality Christmas cards and more presence than presents. Even if that’s the cheesiest line ever, it still rings true.

So I came up with a Quiet Christmas Checklist to inspire some ways to say no to the crazy and yes to the cozy.

You can download, print out and check off as a family or peruse to inspire your own. If you join this anti-challenge make sure to share and tag @kldscp and #aQuietChristmasWithKLDSCP on social media…unless you’re deleting Instagram for the month, which would be a great way addition to the checklist ;)

To get you in the mood and excellent reminders of what actually matters in the long run:

  1. Taylor Swift’s adorable new Christmas music video

  2. Amy Grant’s A Tennessee Christmas for nostalgia that hurts so good

May this season be full of the merriest and brightest moments,

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