Trust + Trials

The following is an excerpt from Jessi Vance's email updates in June. If you would like to receive them, please email us at!

Trust is a funny thing. It feels so slippery and ever evading—at least for me. 

Last week on Sunday I was feeling discouraged and disheartened. Kaleidoscope has 5 events coming up this summer. We need 45 volunteers. By Friday. Our recruiting deadlines have flown past and all of our efforts—every message sent, phone call made, sibling hounded and begged—have resulted in exactly 3 applications to date. 

Our goals seemed hopeless. 

I even started considering how to go about canceling events. 

And then I was sitting there, in our church volunteer team meeting, holding a baby and only half paying attention, when a woman started sharing about praying against the spirit of discouragement and doubt. This caught my attention. These were all the things I was feeling! Had I prayed recently? Well…I had sent out about a hundred Facebook messages to my TCK tribe, I had a detailed spreadsheet, I was scouring my friend list, but no, I hadn’t stopped to pray first, or at all. 

Following the meeting I approached the prayer team and asked them to stand with me as I prayed against all this discouragement and lack of trust. “God has always provided before: exactly what we need, and more than enough. Why do I think He will stop now?” 

As we prayed, this is what one of the men challenged me with: 

“You have seen God move so many times. You have seen miracles and wonders. But you’re shy to share them. Walk in the confidence of what you’ve seen and what you know.”

With that in mind, here are some beautiful and wonderful things I have witnessed recently: 

A wonderful man named John, who joined a Kaleider team last minute and chose to donate the full cost of the trip even though we only asked him for a security deposit. 

Karissa, our summer intern, who was previously unable to join us for even one conference is now working at two conferences this summer, and we couldn't be happier! 

A random meeting on a subway one night. I made friends with a 7-year old girl sitting next to me and lo and behold her parents are church planters here in New York and involved in a ministry to boarding schools…do you know who goes to boarding schools?? TCKs! By the dozens! We’ve set up a meeting to discuss ministry collaboration. 

Our annual budget is projected to remain in “the black” until the end of the year, which feels genuinely miraculous (even though it might have more to do with just having a budget).

The community of female entrepreneurs and experienced businessmen and women I’ve been surrounded by here in New York. They are amazing, and I love learning from and walking alongside them day by day. 

Fast forward… 

For the last two weeks I’ve been praying every morning at 9am. Sometimes alone. Sometimes with some of the Kaleidoscope team or other entrepreneur friends facing their own business challenges. It’s been a sacred, precious, and faith-growing few weeks. We still don’t have our volunteer needs met completely, and the feelings of fear and anxiety come and go, but my confidence that God will provide exactly who we need at the exact right moment grows every single day. 

Earlier this week I posted a video on Facebook sharing our serious need for volunteers and my deep belief that the kids Kaleidoscope is working with this summer will benefit from being poured into by divinely designed teams of people who care for them as much as I do.

You can view the entire video here

It has since been viewed over 1,000 times [2,000 by now!]. It’s been shared a dozen times by good friends and complete strangers. Hundreds of names are tagged in the comments and I’ve received message after message from people praying, spreading the word, asking for more information and even a few who just applied to join a Kaleider Team immediately. 

Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’m blown away by God’s creativity and provision.